June 21, 2008

Anger

What does anger accomplish? I have had some random thoughts bouncing around in my head for some time on this topic and since I rarely have time to actually think through a whole thought process I will attempt to "think out loud" on the subject. (Hope you like stream of consciousness.)

- anger can be a selfish emotion.

- Jesus was angry in the bible, thus giving us an example of righteous anger. (Mark 3:5)

- anger can be used as a manipulation tool many times to control others behaviour.

- anger doesn't really solve anything

- we are supposed to be slow to anger (Proverbs 16:32)

- the sun isn't supposed to go down on our anger (Ephesians 4:26)

- being angry is exhausting

- is irritation the same as anger

- I don't like it when someone is angry at me (especially if I feel like they are trying to control me)

I guess my overall thought process is trying to decide when it is OK to be angry. I know I don't discipline in anger but I have been angry with my children before. I get irritated at my spouse sometimes but being angry at him really doesn't solve anything except make him dig in his heels and not budge. My children will jump to attention if they hear anger in my voice and heed everything I am saying but I don't want to gain their attention in that manner.

I haven't had anything major happen that is causing this reflection but I have had it on my mind for a couple of days. My concluding thoughts are that I think it can be a dangerous emotion if overused and I think it is very easy to overuse it in this day and age because it is one of the only emotions our world accepts. (How is that for a run on sentence?) Obviously, just from observing Jesus example in the Bible, anger is necessary sometimes but I feel like I have only been righteously angry about 2 times in my life the rest selfishly angry, that is sad.

Just my random thoughts on the subject. What do you think? Did I leave something important out?

4 comments:

Aimee said...

I was at a church group and we were discussing anger after watching a video clip by-a-pastor-I-Can't-remember-his-name. The thing that stuck out to me the most from that discussion was this: Unless anger motivates you it is wrong. For example if you see someone being mistreated and it angers you to the point that you intervene or try to help in someway whether short term or long term then it is productive. However, getting angry about things that don't motivate us to change or help is usually because things aren't going our way or they inconvenience us. I hope I'm not overgeneralizing things...

The Urias said...

This is something I struggle with frequently and I too have come to the conclusion that anger is selfish, usually stemming right out of good old pride. It's hard to admit but I really have found it to be true. It helps to stand back and look at what "angers" to decide the whys and whether it's righteous or not (usually not, sadly). For me it's anger when the kids aren't cooperating, when hubby didn't do what he said he was going to do, or just plain and simple when things are going my way. Ouch it hurts to be honest! But I have learned that side stepping the issue doesn't make it go away. Anyways, thanks for the thoughts! :)

The Urias said...

I didn't proofread, I meant I get angry when things DONT go my way! ;)

Liz said...

Aimee and Urias,

Thanks for the food for thought on this. Being slow to anger and to not let frustrations grow into angry actions seem to be my main issues to work out. Thanks for the food for thought. Elizabeth

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