The balance between me and them!

Oh the old See-Saw, what a wonderful thrill when I was a kid! It was so wonderfully predictable: what goes up - must come down! It was great to fly high and see it all and then come gracefully floating down contemplating what you saw (not that I was that deep of a thinker as a child - but it was a nice word picture!) Then sometimes there wasn't anyone to play with so you would just stand right in the middle of that piece of wood and see if you could balance both ends perfectly by yourself! I really believe that life is like that one person see saw game and you have to get it just so....


I recently started exercising again (walking 3 miles around a golf course) and of course I have the little ones with me in the jogging stroller. The other day, day 2 or 3 of my new found regimen, the girls were fussing and squirming and generally displeased with this new hour of their day. I tried to make it fun for them with snacks, baby dolls and coloring pages - I guess I figured the more I put in the stroller the more fat I will burn - but I digress. When they were fussing and whining I was ready to say that I guess this isn't working and I will have to try something else. (balance going down) Then I stopped myself and thought, so I will add on another 10 pounds and feel bad because I don't exercise! That wasn't going to work this time either! That is when I made a CONSCIOUS choice to let this time be important ! I need this time and the girls are going to have to learn to enjoy this time too! (balance going back up)

Sometimes it feels so selfish to think this way. It really did bother me for awhile to take this attitude with my little ones. I wrestled with it and decided that in the end it was the best decision and now I guard that time like I do with my quiet time and church attendance. I decided that it was THAT important to me. (balanced??? hmm not quite sure!)

It is so easy for a mom to put everyone else in the household ahead of her, because her needs can wait! I think this overall attitude of selflessness is a preservation of the family unit, a working family shows a lot of selflessness. We all know the mom who doesn't mind putting herself first. You know, the mom who annoys her husband with all of her silly little notions and we just want to shake them and say seriously, DON'T TAKE HIM FOR GRANTED. We as a collective group typically just shake our heads and know she doesn't get it - definitely not balanced!

But on the other side of the coin there is the mom who gives it all! Then one day she wakes up and realizes that her toenail polish is growing out, her fingers haven't seen a file in weeks, the last time she moisturized was during the Clinton administration and her last haircut was before the writer's strike! Then out of no where she I realized (Oh all of the above wasn't just hypothetical - I really know a person who this happened too! Giggle.) I was becoming a FRUMP. (Again, no balance)

I do not want to live my life like this, it isn't good for me or anyone in my family. However the true rub of this realization is that when I do something good for me the mommy guilt starts, case in point the exercising guilt in the above narrative. I needed to do something for me without the excess baggage. I am a living person with needs all my own, taking care of those needs isn't self indulgent it is a necessity. (up and down/up and down - do men take themselves this seriously!)

So I will purpose to take care of myself with one extra a week, what ever it may be a mani/pedi, haircut, new pants or blouse, shoes or eyebrows. One thing a week I can do without feeling guilty, who knows maybe one day I will work up to two! I'm pretty sure most husbands would love the balanced wife over the martyr. So I challenge you all to do one thing for yourself this week; unless you are the dear girl with the nitpicked husband then maybe you should do something for him. Whatever you decide lets just try to make sure we are part of the balanced life. Hugs everyone. Liz

PaperBackSwap

I don't know about you, but I have a TON of books that I have read and now are sitting on my bookshelf taking up room. Occassionally, I think that it would be great to find better homes for these books, but the task of matching the right book with the right person - no time! However, there is this wonderful website called paperbackswap.com, there you can post paperbacks that you are willing to part with and when you want a paperback you can request that it be sent to you! All in all a very cool website. I have linked to it in my sidebar if you want to check it out! Think of it this way, a very frugal alternative to Barns and Noble!

Chore Charts

So this Works For Me Wednesday is all about chore charts. I love chore charts but using them consistently never worked for me, I would never remember the stickers or I would forget half way through the day for the next step to be followed. My kids loved them (they LOVE routine, wonder where they get that from??) but they felt like they were my charts. Then someone introduced me to Accountable Kids! Well, I loved the idea, but I couldn't justify to dear hubby spending $200.00 on chore charts so I did the next best thing and made one up myself. So here are my Responsible Kids charts:


This is one of my DD's charts. Each child has their own chart, DS is on a square not a heart!

The Wooden Chart:
Each of these wooden cut outs came from Michael's, when I bought them they weren't painted and they didn't have the pegs inserted in them so I did it. I chiseled out a small hole in each heart and then put a light drop of super glue in the hole and next I pushed in a small dowel. I spray painted the whole thing and then decoupaged the names and stickers on. So now that the actual chart was made it was time to add the chore cards.



Chore Cards:
Each child has a set of cards for their chart. The chores to be accomplished in the morning are yellow, afternoons are green, and evenings are blue. After the child has accomplished a chore they flip the card.


The chore cards are printed on card stock with a clip art picture and the written instructions. Then a poster hanger sticky was put on the back so the cards would hang from the pegs on the wooden frame. I absolutely LOVE this chore chart. The kids are responsible for their own charts and they simply look and see what needs to be turned to stay on task.

The Reward System:

Every chore chart needs a reward system and ours uses a bead system. When your chores are completed in the morning you get one bead, afternoon - one bead, and evening - one bead. Then you can use those beads to have computer time or TV time. If they want to save the beads in their jar and not use them for computer time or TV time then when the jar is full they can turn it in for a Dad/Mom approved award. DS really wants an MP3 player so he is working towards that. (We also take away beads for bad attitudes, bad behavior and we reward for good behavior!)



The smaller jar is one of their jars to hold their beads (Michaels for $1.00) and the larger jar holds the beads until they are retrieved. So that is my Works for Me Wednesday. Head over to Shannon's for more great ideas.

What's for dinner????

I was going to do this for the next Works for me Wednesday but I decided that most of you probably know about it already, but just in case some of you don't I wanted to share my love for this. The cookbook that I started out with is here.

Now I have to be honest and say:

1. I don't do this once a month, but rather every 2 months because things come up that dictate dinner elsewhere and we deviate from our planned dinners.


2. I also don't cook for 2 days straight in a row as I don't have time for it and I don't like to be tied up with any one project for that long.

What I do:

1. I plan my meals for the month one night.


2. I grocery shop the next day.


3. I cook the 3rd day.

The above is a best case scenario and sometimes I just don't have 3 days to devote to cooking so I will put a day in between each to do item. On cooking day I must say that the kids are presented with a "mom approved" video from the library and then if they would like they can each take turns helping me put together a recipe. (My 9 yo DD loves to put together the calzone recipe!) It is fun for the kids to help me fill the freezer for our month of meals. I place a label on each food item and then place it in the freezer. Then every Monday I go to the grocery store for our weeks worth of needed items (like vegetables for sides or salad fixings). This way of cooking has saved us many evenings when running home from Tae Kwon Do or when we are trying to get to Wednesday night bible class on time. I encourage anyone to give it a try and if cooking for a whole month is a little bit much for you to take on then try it for 2 weeks at a time and you will be amazed at the ease of dinner. Oh and on the big cooking day, PLAN to go out for dinner that evening, it will be a wonderful feeling to go out for a planned dinner rather than a hectic where-do-we-want-to-go-because-we-have-nothing-at-home! Now just to let you know we still have Taco Bell runs at our house, but they are just MUCH less frequent than before.