April 23, 2011

What's up Doc???

Not much except my foot!

Yep, that is right...this really big pregnant lady slipped on a stack of recipe books next to her bed and ended up crying out in pain!

To be fair I was trying to catch my alarm before it woke my sleeping husband, but my cry woke him instead!

Yes, I will proceed to tell the whole story so that one day when they are looking for a family for reality TV they will say, "now that is a crazy bunch!"

So instead of waking early and walking with my neighbor my husband put me back to bed with an icepack. I slept fitfully for the next hour and then got up for good because I had an incredibly busy day!

It was the last day of homeschool coop and I had a large bunch of students to teach about the oddities of short stories and I needed to collect the end of semester papers from them.

The cat needed to be at the school at 11 AM, (yes the cat - she was being loaned out as a feline thespian for a rendition of Anne Frank that the drama class was putting on.)

My sweet 10 year old son had to have his year end project at school by 1 p.m. He was incredibly proud of his diorama of the Wives of Henry VIII including 2 barbie dolls whose heads were sacrificed for the project! (Yes, the are incredibly creepy when they are decapitated and still smiling!)

My dear daughter needed to be at the school early to practice part of her speech that was to be delivered that night in front of the entire school plus family (200+) people. While simultaneously keeping an eye on Lucky (our black thespian cat - yes he is an all black cat named Lucky!)

I needed to be at the hospital by 9:30 to have my blood drawn after drinking the glucose drink at 8:30 for the disgusting gestational diabetes screening.

My husbands laptop needed to be delivered to the computer place after the hard drive had crashed a few days before.

I needed to take the milk jugs back to the local farmer to be refilled.

I needed to take 24 frozen cinnamon rolls and 2 big boxes of frozen chocolate, chocolate chunk cookies to some dear friends who supported our 4-H fund raiser to school that day as well!

So when I headed to take my shower as I gingerly pulled the ice pack off of my foot I told myself to muscle through and to deal.

It hurt.

I'm pregnant so no ibuprofen, I'm pregnant and on blood thinners so that ruled out everything else!

However in light of all that needed to be done that day I took a deep breath and stood on one foot while I showered...did I mention that I'm pregnant....did I mention that when I'm pregnant my body thinks I should be more like an elephant! Did I mention I was on one foot!

So after I hurriedly washed my hair I hobbled over to the vanity stool and took a deep breath and got ready for the day.

Then I started yelling, not in pain but at all the kids who were still upstairs asleep and I needed them to wake up. I couldn't bear to walk down the hall. The yelling did no good except wake the baby birds that have made a nest in our chimney! So I did the next best thing and crawled down the hall and sat on the bottom step and yelled for my oldest and very sweet and capable oldest dear daughter. She heard me! Yippee! She was so puzzled and looked at me like I was crazy as I sat on the bottom step and pleaded for my little world to wake up. She told me to stop yelling she would wake them and then I started my crawl to the kitchen to drink sugar water....I think she thinks she was born to a nut sometimes!

So after a L O N G while me, 4 kids, the cat, the frozen treats, Henry VIII's wives, 4 - gallon milk jugs, and a broken laptop were loaded in the car.

My foot hurt.

I drove straight to the hospital for my blood draw. I left the kids (oldest has a cell) and the cat in the car (oldest is old enough to stay with them - legally). I hobbled S L O W L Y from the parking lot to the lab. I had my blood drawn they said I should see somebody. I said, "it is a sprain". I ran into my Dr. in the hall...he said, "that needs to be looked at." I said, "it is a sprain". He was more insistent. I said "I have 4 kids and a cat and defrosting cinnamon rolls in the car." He looked at me like my daughter did earlier that day. I hobbled off and by the time I got to the car I was a little...slightly...ill in my stomach. I took a deep breath and drove the cinnamon rolls, cat, and kids to the school.

I thought hmmmm...maybe I can call and the nurse can tell me something is really out there OTC that this pregnant lady can take. Guess what she said...you need to be seen! Then I looked at myself in the rearview mirror like my daughter and the doctor had.

I dropped the cat off at the thespian class, the semi-frozen treats into the school freezer, my daughter off at speech, and called a sweet, SWEET, S W E E T friend who took my kids, fed them lunch (even took lunch to the daughter at speech class), and delivered them to school on time and I went to be seen!

On the way to the hospital I called one of the school's directors and said, "don't worry I'll be there for my class...it is just a sprain."

Back at the hospital I prayed for a close parking spot and that prayer was answered. I went up to the 3rd floor and said it was a sprain, they said I looked green. They asked what time I did this to myself, I said 6:30 this morning and they looked at me like my daughter and my doctor did. I said, it is just a sprain. They ordered x-rays and put me in a wheel chair. They did a NST on the baby and said at least he looked good...I knew he was good because I didn't fall on my seat and he was moving around so happy.

The X-ray said it was not a sprain...it was a fracture. Then I really was green. They said you don't look good, I said my foot hurt. They said...no kidding. I said I needed something for the pain...they said what have you taken...I said nothing...they said what have you eaten...I said a glucose drink...they looked at me like my daughter did that morning.

So after a L O N G while I was fed a stock sandwich from the cafeteria (which tasted delicious) and 2 cartons of apple juice with a straw. I was given an air cast and a set of crutches and a script for pain pills. Sometime in between there my husband came to my rescue and he looked at me.... like my daughter did that morning.


Shannon said...

Although I'm sure you could have done without the day that created this blog, and I really don't think its funny that you broke your ankle...I was laughing through most of it. Love the way you took something not-so-funny and found the humor in it :)

Leslie said...

You sure have a way with words, Liz! I'm praying that the rest of your pregnancy is uneventful! :) ((hugs))


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