To catch up from the beginning go to the links above.
So with my new found approach I was able to try and enjoy my pregnancy. I can't say that I never had dark moments, but they weren't quite as dark.
I began to research and discuss and learn everything that I could about AMC. Arthro means joint and Gryposis means crooked Multiplex means multiple and Congenita means present at birth. AMC is an umbrella diagnosis or an actual diagnosis so that means that my baby either had crooked joints just because or there was an underlying reason and AMC was a secondary condition.
I began to know more about our diagnosis than my OB's. I began dreading doctors appointments because I had learned how to live in my world with a smile on my face and they still thought I needed consoling. They still had the pity face on and I had my game face on. They thought I was in denial and I thought they were overly dramatic.
There were a lot of unknowns. Most of the time when my fears would bubble to the top it was in the form of "what if...". What if the baby had issues that I couldn't care for? What if this is secondary AMC and he has many health issues? What if I did something to cause this? What if I can't care for him and take care of my other children effectively? What if....
Anytime I would formulate these what if questions in front of a health care provider or a friend or family or in my own head the answer was ALWAYS the same....we have to wait and see. That was frustrating, but finally I resolved myself to be patient. I took solace in the words of other AMC mom's, "being pregnant with an AMC baby is the hardest part of the road - waiting and waiting to see what he/she needs from you when all you want to do is to help right now!"
The AMC community was such an answer to prayer. There were mom's who sought me out and sent me messages and gifts to brighten my road. They shared verses from the bible that consoled them and they shared stories some funny and some not of their own journey. They were a blessing in a dark moment. It was so refreshing to have someone know my world...not to just sympathize but to know that they had stood where I was now standing and had survived.
My husband and I interviewed doctors and started making a plan for treatment after birth. We visited Texas Scotish Rite Hospital for Children and met the baby's future orthopedic doctor and took a tour of the hospital. We started making a game plan for our future in as many areas that we could plan for, and for the rest we had a mantra that we repeated over and over again..."I don't know - we will have to wait and see...." It was a hard but sweet time.
If the words on this page seem jumbled and rushed and disjointed then the emotions of that time are being reflected. We were excited, we were preparing, we were scared, we were logical, we were irrational, we were tired.
Then finally...the doctors decided it was time to meet our little man. The "someday" was here and we were going to meet our baby Luke.