M.I.A....

At some point I will feel like living my life again. I'm leaning on God and trying to find my way back. At this point, I feel like I'm still grasping at straws.

As mothers we want to know our children are safe and are not needing us. I know my dear Timothy is safe and I know that there isn't anything that he needs. So to that I thank God for all the verses that explain time in heaven. My life will pass and I will always miss my precious baby - however, for him it is will only be a moment before we are together again.

My heart is so heavy with grief and sadness. I am typically a happy and easy going person. This is hard. It is hard to get a grasp on normal. When I think all is going well, it will hit me like a slap on the face. I LOST MY BABY. My poor precious baby.

I sound a little scatter brained. I am a little unorganized. I can't find my bearings.

We had an elder at a past congregation that was explaining about life's "ebb and flow". He likened it to a row boat that would toss us this way and that and the challenge was to keep it steady in the middle. Right now in the early stages of grief, white knuckled - stomach churning -can't breathe through the sobs grief, I can't keep my little boat steady.

I lean on the Lord and read daily in His Word and my family. I KNOW we will get through this but working it out is not going to be easy.