October 16, 2008

M.I.A....

At some point I will feel like living my life again. I'm leaning on God and trying to find my way back. At this point, I feel like I'm still grasping at straws.

As mothers we want to know our children are safe and are not needing us. I know my dear Timothy is safe and I know that there isn't anything that he needs. So to that I thank God for all the verses that explain time in heaven. My life will pass and I will always miss my precious baby - however, for him it is will only be a moment before we are together again.

My heart is so heavy with grief and sadness. I am typically a happy and easy going person. This is hard. It is hard to get a grasp on normal. When I think all is going well, it will hit me like a slap on the face. I LOST MY BABY. My poor precious baby.

I sound a little scatter brained. I am a little unorganized. I can't find my bearings.

We had an elder at a past congregation that was explaining about life's "ebb and flow". He likened it to a row boat that would toss us this way and that and the challenge was to keep it steady in the middle. Right now in the early stages of grief, white knuckled - stomach churning -can't breathe through the sobs grief, I can't keep my little boat steady.

I lean on the Lord and read daily in His Word and my family. I KNOW we will get through this but working it out is not going to be easy. Posted by Picasa

5 comments:

Rachel said...

still thinking and praying for you. How are the kids doing??

Chad and Rebecca said...

I am praying for you as you continue to heal.

Angel said...

I am so terribly sorry for this incredible pain. I truly can't fathom how it must feel to lose your sweet baby after such a short time. My heart just cries for you. I wish there were some words that would help.... I've got so little to offer. There are no words. He is beautiful and perfect. I am so sorry he had to leave so soon. I will pray for your healing. I wish it weren't so painful for those of us left here to wonder what happened. I would love to hear from you anytime. My e-mail is angelweir@gmail.com

Sending you my love, Angel

Smockity Frocks said...

Crying and praying for you right now.

Dimple Queen said...

Liz, I am still praying for you. I check back from time to time to see if you've posted anything new. Please remember we are all here for you when you are ready!

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